Disclaimer - these are opinions of parents who have added tips to my website. These are not tips from a medical professional. This Internet page provides information of a general nature and is designed for helpful tips only. If you have any concerns about your own health or the health of your child, you should always consult with a physician or other healthcare professional. A couple web links that also give parenting information are the American Academy of Pediatrics Parenting Corner and our local Huntsville Pediatric Associates web sites. And a new site I just discovered is my children's dentist site - www.cyberdentist.com - also, one of the dentists from this practice has their own blog page which has information on pacifier use and other things - www.cyberdentist.blogspot.com. Here also are two links to the Baby Center website that you may find useful - or could just add a laugh to your day (What moms wish they had known about pregnancy, childbirth, and babies and Laugh and learn: New parents share their most embarrassing mistakes)! $
Let me know if you find any of these tips helpful or have any you would like to add! I do not post names on this page. (amyharbour@comcast.net)
Pregnancy –
· I wish I had known that all the milkshakes I told myself it was ok to suck down while pregnant, would not automatically melt off my thighs after giving birth.
· Listen to your body - I knew the awkwardness I felt towards the end of my pregnancy was not normal. It turns out halfway through labor they realized my son was breach and had been that way a long time. I wasted half a day in labor just to have a c-section. If I had mentioned it they would have done an ultrasound sooner and realized the round area they felt was not a head, but a bottom!
During and After Delivery –
· I wish someone had told me that a strong dose of epidural can put the baby to sleep, thus delaying labor and heightening the chance of emergency cesarean.
· My epidural relaxed me enough to make my delivery faster - talk with your doctor! Everyone is different and every baby is different!
· I was shocked at all the bleeding after. I knew I would bleed some, but I passed one clot the size of a golf ball a few days after delivery. The nurses told me this was normal and not to worry unless I passed more than 3 the size of a lemon. I would still call for anything unusual or different though!
· Prepare your mind for a C-Section just in case.
· When the nurses told me the C-Section would only take about 15 minutes I was thrilled. What they didn't mention was the 45 additional minutes I had to stay there while they cleaned and closed everything back up. I wasn't mentally prepared for this long span.
· Bring chap stick and breath mints! Your lips and mouth get so dry and you don't know when you'll be able to get up again to brush your teeth.
· The hospital can be very cold! Especially the C-section room. I had a spring baby and a summer baby and my husband wore a sweatshirt comfortably at both deliveries.
· I wish I had known to instruct the nurses to wake me for scheduled pain meds the night my son was born. They skipped a dose because I was asleep and when I awoke at 4 am, I passed out and hit the floor while trying to get up.
· I wish I had known to ask for pain medicine after delivery. The nurse kept bringing me something and I assumed it was a pain pill. My first day out of bed after delivery I was on no pain medicine. Apparently for the first 24 hours they bring it to you routinely, but after that you have to request it.
· I wore a nightgown after delivering my first child in the hospital. This was so uncomfortable. The bulky pads you have to wear would weigh me down and I'd be afraid the net panties would show when I walked around. With my son I just wore loose dark pajama bottoms and an old comfy button down shirt. The shirt was great for nursing and the doctors or nurses had to pull the net panties down to check you anyway - so they would just also pull down the pajama bottoms. I was so much more comfortable!
· I didn't realize that your body shook so much during delivery. I had the shakes so bad - almost like very bad chills throughout the last few hours of labor and for a couple of hours after delivery. I was told it is very normal. I was shaking so badly the nurses joked I'd shake the baby out of me!
· Write down all the phone numbers of people you want to call. I couldn't remember any phone numbers to call people. It was like a brain freeze. Also, bring your cell phone and charger with you - it helps to have the cell phone in bed with you so you don't have to uncomfortably reach for the hospital phone.
· I brought that wet toilet paper wipes with me. It was great for cleaning up after the enema and made it more comfortable to wipe after delivery.
· For hemorrhoids I was told to fold up a tucks pad and just leave it applied on them. You can even add additional medicine to the pad. I had no pain or discomfort from the hemorrhoids and this also helped my episiotomy stitches to not itch since they were kept moist and clean.
· Ask the nurses for help with any questions or insecurities. That is what they are there for!
· I was told to only take a 5 minute shower for my first after delivery shower and not matter how badly I wanted a hot one to only make it a little warmer than room temperature. This helped to keep me from getting dizzy after being in bed for so long.
Diapering and Dressing –
· Buy a couple of preemie outfits even if you are not having a preemie. Newborn babies are so small and even newborn sizes can be extremely baggy on them and gather around the neck/face.
· Make sure to stretch out the leg holes real well around the butt. Overlap the straps at the belly so you don’t get a leaky diaper - especially with boys.
· And with a boy – FOLD THE PENIS DOWN – it won’t hurt them if you do it gently
· Huggies makes overnight diapers for when they start sleeping through the night – but they don’t start until size 3.
· They also sell diaper doublers at Publix. These are great to prevent leaks. They sit in the diaper like a maxi pad.
· I keep plastic grocery bags in a tissue box by the diaper changing area. They are great for putting stinky diapers in to hide the smell.
Feeding –
· When using a bottle drape a burp cloth under the chin to catch the dribbles. They’ll get caught under the neck and leave a HORRIBLE smell and can cause a yeast infection!
· If you are having a problem breastfeeding, bring the baby in and SHOW your pediatrician how the baby is feeding and he/she can help fix the problem - sometimes immediately.
· If you can’t get the baby to take a bottle or breast and you know it is time, try stroking their cheek with the bottle in their mouth. This will cause the sucking reflex to happen naturally in little babies.
· My doctor suggested not using tap water for the first 6 months. We mixed formula with distilled water. I was told “nursery water” had too much fluoride for a newborn.
· When giving juice mix it with water. Juice can be very filling and can give diarrhea. A lot of babies will get to only wanting juice and not drinking any water. So try not to give juice early on.
· You really will only do formula or breast milk for the first 4-6 months, and then slowly add solid foods. Offer a wide variety of tastes in solids. This can help them experiment with new foods better. Wait 2-3 days between new foods to test for allergies. I have heard it is more important what they eat over several days than the course of one day. Meaning that if they don’t get all their fruits and veggies in one day give it the next. Some babies have one day when they eat everything and one day when they don’t eat a thing.
Bathing –
· It is easy for a baby to get a yeast infection under the neck because formula and breast milk can get caught under there and babies can’t lift their heads up to air dry it. Make sure to clean under their neck. It’s awkward to do since you’ve really got to stretch their little heads up, but if you don’t it’ll start to smell. This can happen in armpits and all those little crevices too.
· Leave one wash cloth covering the baby up with warm water on it while you bath another part to keep them from getting cold. If you have a boy keep a wash cloth over the penis at all times to catch the unexpected sprays – some girls spray up too though!
Bedding –
· Stack your sheets! Changing crib sheets are hard to do – especially in the middle of the night. Put down one sheet, then a waterproof medical pad, then another sheet, pad, sheet, pad, etc. until you’ve used all your sheets. This way for leaks in the middle of the night all you have to do is strip off one sheet and pad and a dry one is there waiting. Just make sure the sheets are on there tightly and securely so they cannot slip off and become hazardous to the baby. A new sheet is on the market now that can be zipped on and off to make it easier to change.
Medicine –
· Gas medicine can be given up to 12 times a day – but I have been told it can be constipating so only use it when needed.
· Keep baby pear juice on hand for constipation. Your doctor will tell you how much to use if necessary. I preferred the small Gerber 4 oz. ones because the larger ones have to be used within a certain time frame and most will go wasted.
· Go ahead and stock up on some medicine. Possibly wasting 15 or 20 dollars on medicine is much better than dragging your sick baby to the store or waiting for someone to bring it to you. Just check the expiration date so you know they won’t expire soon. Things we kept on hands: Infant Tylenol, a cleaning agent for cuts and scrapes, Liquid Band-Aid (they can choke on a real band aid), hydrocortisone cream (good for the newborn rash and bug bites), gas medicine (store brand works fine, but the name brand has exact dosing squirter and a child proof container), Saline Spray (a non-medicated spray you can use for congestion), diaper rash cream (I love the butt paste brand), and a general cold medicine for babies (They can’t really take any strong medicines for the first few months – but it’s good to have on hand just in case). Read the label of ALL medicines to check for age and weight. It’s safer to go by weight than age. Also the children’s electrolyte solutions are good for treating dehydration, but this is for older babies.
· They make granules for diarrhea – it’s not prescription – but you get it at the pharmacy since it has to be refrigerated. It helps to bulk up the bowel movements in little bellies that can’t take medicine. Your doctor can suggest this if necessary.
· Always go by weight when dosing medicine and call your doctor before giving it to make sure it is alright. Our on call nurse prefers we call them first so they can give the exact type to take and the exact amount.
· Use the overnight pharmacies to call to ask drug interaction questions – like can you mix ibuprofen with the ear infection medicine along with a decongestant, etc. That is what they are there for and it is free!
General –
· You are the only parent your baby knows. They don’t know someone else may do it differently or “better” than you. They’ll think you are the expert. So trust yourself to know what to do for your baby! There is no better person to be with your baby than you – even if at times it feels so stressful that you think you are doing everything wrong.
· Sometimes babies do need to cry just to vent frustrations and release stress. Some people find this hard to deal with and leave them crying on their own. I always swaddled mine and just shhhhhhhhhhed in their ears throughout the crying spells. It did seem to help. Patting bottoms works too – it has the feel of being vibrated. Also the vacuum running or water or exhaust in the bathroom helps.
· Babies love to hear parents singing or whistling – it is very calming for them. Sing the ABCs – you know it so well you can sing it without concentrating. I got through many songs while watching TV and it’s so natural you can actually concentrate on watching TV while singing the ABCs – sort of getting a TV break.
· When you are at a loss for a parenting solution write everything down! It makes it so much easier. For instance if you are struggling with fussiness write down the habits around the time of the fussiness and you may realize you need to push up nap time or feeding time.
· I saw in a magazine to put a label on your car seat with your child's information in case of an accident. Apparently they will transport your child in their car seat if possible to the hospital. We have their names, age, weight, any allergies, contact numbers for ourselves and local grandparents as well as a signed medical release slip just in case we were unconscious or our children were in the care of others. The article was about a grandmother that had the child with her and the hospital could not even give pain medicine until the parents got there to give consent a good 45 minutes later. Ours is on a label that just states that we give permission for any medical treatment necessary in our absence and then we both signed and dated it and just stuck it on the side of the car seats. I don't know if it would work or not, but it's worth the effort just in case!
· No matter how silly you feel, call the doctor with any questions. They would much rather you be over cautious then ignore something or experiment with a solution on your own. For instance - I saw a patient in the waiting room one time with the symptoms of hiccups and I thought - wow - that's an over paranoid mom! Well it turns out this baby had acid reflux and her only symptom was constant hiccupping! So again always err on the side of caution and call your doctor with any questions.
· A Mom must be able to keep her own sanity in order to properly care for an infant, therefore I suggest the following ways to help achieve this goal:
o It's helpful to have someone, who doesn't mind changing diapers and can be left alone with an infant so you can run to the grocery store alone.
o If possible, make bath time, Daddy's time. It's good for Dad and baby to bond and gives Mom a few minutes to rest (or start laundry, do the dishes...).
· Just love them and hug them as often as you can! Make sure you tell them often how much they are loved!
· Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations. Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night. Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep. Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom. Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy. Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom. And before I was a Grandma, I didn't know that all those "Mom" feelings more than doubled when you see that little bundle being held by "your baby"...
Toddler -
· When your toddler misbehaves, make sure to look him/her in the eye when you are calmly explaining what you expect from them. Sometimes they are too distracted to pay attention to your expectations.
· Explain everything as clearly and precisely as possible while trying to stay positive. Even if you feel silly - children understand a lot more than you think they do. For instance - instead of "do not hit, that is not nice" - try "Hitting hurts. We do not hurt our friends by hitting them." Or "I understand you want to play more, but right now it is time for dinner. Why don't you come inside and help me pick out the vegetable we are going to eat" instead of - "No we cannot stay and play more.” Explaining the rules and the need for certain changes will help them understand it. Giving choices when appropriate gives them the power they normally will through tantrums to get.
· Stay consistent!
· I took a picture of our pediatrician and we looked at it often. We told stories about him and discussed how doctors make us feel better. It really helped take the anxiety out of the doctor's appointments. It made him feel more like a friend than a scary doctor.
· Sometimes in the mist of a major meltdown all your toddler needs is a big hug. Remember they have a lot of changes happening in their little bodies and minds. Things can get overwhelming so quickly. When my daughter is in the middle of a meltdown and I ask if she just needs a hug, normally she will come running for one. After she is calmed down we can discuss the situation. This is much better than just listening to the meltdown until it is over.
· It is great for your toddler to see you make mistakes. Show them it is alright and normal to not be perfect. Allow them to see you admit you are wrong and apologize at times also.
· Teach your toddler their first and last name in case they get lost. Beginning at 2 years old we practiced her first and last name and mommy's first and last name. Those little toddlers move fast and it only takes a second to get separated. We also put a label in the shoes with their full name and our names and cell numbers just in case!